plus one pup, minus one work day

today is memorial day, and also the last out of my four day weekend. it's been a puppy-filled weekend.

i got Zoe monday evening. she's a 5 month old rescue puppy who spent the first half of her life in shelters and the second half in a foster home with 15 other puppies. she is black, and is a mix of chesapeake bay retriever, labrador retriever and chow. she's a fuzzy little boogerface. she's had little human interaction and is pretty shy, but it's been a week and she's definitely showing improvement. she's prone to barking if one or two new people approach, but in crowds of other people and dogs she's totally fine, albeit a bit subdued at first. she's young enough that i think she'll come out of the shyness and dependence on me. i will post photos soon.

on friday i took Zoe to mango (my work), which involved her first car trip with me, and first experience at a place with lots of people. she was extremely shy at first, backing into a corner and looking at me pleadingly, but we stayed for about an hour and she was pretty chill by the end of it. she also likes getting in the car now too, even though she's not interested in sniffing out the windows at all like i thought most dogs liked to do.

on saturday morning, my ex-step-dad dennis and i took zoe to the forest hill farmer's market. there were all kinds of tents with produce, bbq, soaps, flowers, jewelry, pies, etc. i bought some local broccoli and strawberries. zoe met some dogs and didn't bark the entire time. we decided to walk home through the park, and we encountered more people and dogs, and at those times zoe would bark until she got close and sniffed.

saturday afternoon i went to the wedding of my friends sandy and jessie. i got appropriately misty-eyed a few times. after the ceremony they had a reception at artworks, and then there was a party at jess and sarah's place that night. it was great seeing everyone, and i love going to a wedding that feels right. weddings generally weird me out a little bit.

yesterday magen and i took the dog to a cookout/pool party at corie, anita and bird's house. it was nice. i got twenty minutes of sun and got burned, so i sat in the shade and watched everyone in the sun. whaa. just kidding, it wasn't quite like that. but it was fun. zoe actually played with another dog, too. she was exhausted after we had been there for 4 or 5 hours, so we came back to my house, magen went home and i started setting up my new industrial sewing machine. it's quite an ordeal, and the poorly translated-from-chinese assembly instructions are trying. it's about half put together. bleh. it looks pretty badass though. i'll load photos of it with the zoe photos next time.

that's about all that's going on in my world. enjoying the weather, growing my veggie garden, raising a puppy, working and striving towards getting a good sewing setup.

and i really need to go to the grocery store. dad and cynthia are throwing an early dinner party tonight and the food sounds incredible, so i'm going to that around 4:30, and it's 3 now, so i don't have much time to do anything... maybe i'll clean the catboxes, vacuum and write a grocery list and go to the store after dinner. maybe i'll even cook something for my lunches this week.

things are good. it's amazing what good weather can do to a person. my life is pretty complete right now. i would enjoy having some company of the romantic type, but i'm enjoying being single, and having a sig oth is not one of the factors of my completeness.

now, i'm going to belt out some christina aguilera while i vacuum. peace bitches!

ineffable, unflapable

heeeeeey!!!

what's up. long time no communicate.

it's april. it's getting warmer, i had mostly abandoned the internet for the last few months, save checking email. and occasionally myspace and craigslist. but whatever, don't judge me!

so on monday i'm going to get supplies to start my vegetable, herb and flower garden. I am excited! brandy and collier are going to share the land with me. possibly katia too, but she's overwhelmed with school right now.

i've been working overtime at mango, and sundays at alchemy in carytown. basically what i mean by telling you this is that i work pretty much every day and i'm kind of tired. but i've also been hanging out with my buddies and that's fun. cook out season is fast upon us and i am stoked about that.

mom is coming to visit during the second weekend in may, and i took off all four days she'll be here. it's going to be awesome because we're gonna go berry picking and do other fun stuff like go to maymont, the botanical gardens, sally belle and other delicious dining locations. i hate that i don't go to maymont and places like that on my own, on a regular basis. by the end of this year i definitely need to decrease my hours. i've been making more money, but i don't think it's all that worth it sometimes. i want the time to pursue art. and to have enough energy to clean my house. i've been so willing to just go go go, and that's great, i know that my work appreciates it, but lately i think i went a little too far and didn't listen to myself enough.

i have made some new friends over the last few months and it makes me really happy. magen is probably one of my favorite people ever, and we like to spend our free time doing similar things. i've never had a friend like that before, and it's awesome.

i can't believe we're 1/3 of the way through the year. yes, i think about stuff like that. time passes so fast for me these days. i'm not ok with it. i want to enjoy life more, and stop wanting to buy things. i want to stop being driven by money. i don't even get paid that much, but i probably get paid more than many of my friends. i've been resisting cynicism lately... now that i'm done with school for the time being, all these thoughts about 'adult' achievements have weight down on me, mostly the idea of buying a house and how impossible it seems.

and really, why should i be worrying about this? i'm only 23.

on the flip side, i have been having more fun. going out more and stuff.

i bought some art the other day. it is sweet. i'm sure there are richmonders who are 'over' nick kuszyk, but i don't care. go to rRobots to check it out.

today i feel like staying up late, drinking coffee or beer, baking brownies, reading books, playing games and watching movies with a good friend. but fuck my job that i have to be at at 8:45 tomorrow morning! nobody to blame but me, i know...

maybe i'll just do some cooking right now. i'm supposed to go to hillary's house and help her paint, but i haven't heard from her. tonight i really don't feel like working. i had today off and it didn't even feel like it.

i'm a whiny bitch. let's get drinks.

oh and i cut my hair:



a friend told me i needed to post photos of my hair, so i did. i was really tired and i know it's one of 'those' shots, but get off me. jk love ya!

Happy New Year!

It's the first day of 2008! I'll be 23 in 25 days.

I think this will be a good year. I got no new year's kiss and i drank too much last night, but i still had fun.

Here are my resolutions:

-Get back on the gym/weight loss track
-Save money
-Reconfigure my apartment so I have a work space and can start designing and making things

Pretty basic stuff I guess. All extremely doable.

I hope everyone had a good New Year's celebration, and I hope everyone has a great year!

dance dance dance

Man, I am utterly absorbed in this book. I started reading it last week and I'm almost done with it, it's so good. It's not a hard read, but it's also not forgettable. Good stuff.

The attention I've been giving to this book has made it tough to study for my french final. That, and my sister's reborn partying ways. She partied this weekend, and wasn't able to study. While I am trying to study on my own and not rely on her (as I know it appears I do) information sticks better when you're mulling it over with someone else. I need to study!!

I also started a new job today, waitressing at Easy Street. Today was my first day of training, and I actually waited on my first table ever! What a rush. Haha. It was cool though, I think I will enjoy working there. I'm happy to be at a local, independent place rather than a chain. And no super long drive, either. If/when I move back to the fan area, it would only be a short bike ride away.

I may be getting one of my dad's old road bikes. My uncle has them right now, fixed them up several years ago and they've been sitting in his garage ever since. If they're not too big, I'll take one of them and fix it up. They're probably pretty heavy, but I don't care. Of course, this won't help too much unless I live across the river again. To be honest, I'm not going to start out making that trek across the river on a bike. I'm too out of shape and after what happened to Jonny Z on the Nickel Bridge, I just don't really want to go there. So we'll see.

I'm pretty happy right now. I think I will read more book and then sleep.

the far bank

i want to watch a movie. tonight was cold, and i shivered in my car on the way home, unpleasant but loving it because winter is finally coming.

i'm expanding my horizons, reading a lot of fiction and political stuff, and it's great. i'm glad i'm not poring over hours of patterns and sewing for a little bit so that i can feel a bit like an aware member of society for once. not bad, not bad...

i want to watch the virgin suicides, maybe. or maybe something else...

i won't get enough sleep tonight. tomorrow will be fun.

oh by the way, i found this link on bbc world. the doha debates ("Qatar's unique forum for free speech in the arab world") are going on, and that's pretty fuckin cool. i'm glad i got to be a part of tasmeem and could see qatar with my own eyes, literally and sociologically, economically, etc.

The Doha Debates

unsuccessful

I hate failing. I try to learn from it, but I still hate it. I feel this sinking feeling in my chest. I'm trying, in vain, to keep myself out of the hole I've been digging myself all day. It's not woooorkiiiing.

I was going to go out tonight, but I am so stressed out and overwhelmed that I decided to stay in. I feel behind in everything. So much crap happened today (I knew the day was off to a bad start) that made my head hurt. I don't get headaches often, but today my noggin' was a'throbbin'.

Apparently there's some dangerous criminal loose in Richmond. Sometimes I feel a little unsafe where I live. I wish someone else were here with me.

Technically, I really haven't failed. There are just a lot of little challenges being thrown at me. I never dealt with stress well. I would love to be one of those people who was calm under pressure, and operated smoothly even when they had to do five hundred things. I feel like that could really hold me back in the future if I can't get myself under control.

I also don't like the thought that someone might be avoiding me. The internet is a funny one. It shouldn't be taken too seriously. All in all, one fantastically bad day. I try to remind myself that things can always get worse, so I'm glad I didn't almost die or anything.

passion fruit

I am having a crappy day. Here I am, I get home from class and I have to work at 11, which leaves me enough time for... jack shit. I hate working at 11. I have about an hour to do nothing. They have shaved off an hour here and there on everyone's schedules at work, and it's really annoying because I have a trivial amount of time to do nothing of any importance. I could be making money instead. But no. What a waste of time.

I started feeling ill in class... my stomach was upside down and I got really dizzy. I'm not sure what caused it, I didn't eat breakfast and I got up at 6:30 so I guess that could have affected me. My cat inhaled his food and just puked it all up all over my carpet. I also missed the recycling for the second time. I have a bunch of bags outside full of bottles... I'm glad it's not summer (although it's trying, with the weather today) or the flies would have a field day on crusty old beer. I am trying hard to stay optimistic, but this day has just begun and it's already pissing me off.

My final exam for my last class will be either next Thursday or Friday. I have a little over a week to somehow turn myself around. I got my quiz back and it was terrible, I think it was a D. That may have affected how I felt physically, too. I think I had an A before that. He even asked to talk to me after class... of course all he did was ask me what happened. I know what happened, I wasn't prepared for how involved the quiz was and I was not comfortable with the material at all. Fucking sucks. Today is stupid. It's only 10 o'clock.

But no, I shouldn't let myself think that, because then I'm letting my pessimism get the best of me. Sometimes it's easy, to just give up and assume everything has gone to shit. For one day, I guess it wouldn't harm me that much to be annoyed. But then part of me believes that if I believe that, my attitude will make it more likely for things to continue going wrong. I will try to feel better and know that today is just a tiny piece of of my life, microscopic in the grand scheme of things. I refuse to let myself be negatively affected by other people today. And myself. This is when my self-confidence is tested, and I won't give up on myself again. I will keep trudging along... that's what these incidents are for, right? To learn how to be a better, stronger person?

Sure. Let's just go with that, because flowery, inspirational self pep talks will only piss me off right now.