7.27.2007

this one isn't funny, sorry.

i miss playing piano.

it makes me feel like i have something to say. like i can speak love.

i need a workspace, a studio. but i am just making excuses, because i have an aversion to work. my alarms don't wake me up anymore. sleep gives me headaches. i complain all day, and my heart flutters.

why do i hold myself back?

i don't want to try because i am afraid that all i have been praised for my whole life, is a lie. and i know it, i can see the transparence of my work. i don't want to be found out. sometimes i think i already have, and i'm the only person who is in denial. or just scared.

i want something more than anything... tell me what it is?

i should play again.

i wish i could be the feeling of watching my cats dream.

1 comment:

Sandy said...

keep your head up. When you're ready to play, you'll find a way.

I'm on your side.