deafening in death.

and i will remember your name and face
on the day you are judged by the funhouse cast
and i will rejoice in your fall from grace
with a cane through the sky like "none shall pass"

---

i feel dramatic when i'm angry. i don't know what's worse, being chill and never getting crazy, or getting too ridiculous. sometimes i wish i could just keep quiet. i'm not the type of person to start shit for the sake of starting shit. i'm not that bored.

sometimes i am understanding and compassionate. sometimes i'm just really fucking angry and ready to sling curses as if i'm dying tonight.

i was told recently that hanging out with me was 'excruciating'. somehow i didn't immediately think that was a bad thing... i guess in context it made sense. in hindsight, i'm not so sure. i'm not always an easy person to be around. that's a reality. i'm not willing to bend myself to make someone like me. this is it. take it. leave it. i am me and i make no apologies. society can fuck itself if that's what it expects.

i want you to be yourself too. do you know who that is? how big does the sacrifice need to be for you to decide you'd rather be complacent forever? what makes a sacrifice worth it? when you don't know the extent of the reward, what would it take to get you to take the plunge?

i'm not much of a gambler. i wouldn't want to be in a gambler's shoes. i don't envy the position.

for some people happiness will never be an option. where is truth on your list of priorities?

now i'm getting out of this house. i can't be here much.